The GW Web monkeys don't have a clue

Shieldmaiden · **Posted:** Sat Aug 11, 2012 2:42 pm

Was browsing the updated finecast stuff and found this on the High Elves -

Quote:

These are highly detailed Citadel Finecast High Elf Warriors. Each model wears superbly crafted attire including long flowing robes and intricately detailed armour. Each of these Warriors grips a long glaive. They also carry a flamboyant shield featuring daedal patterns and with a large gem set into it.

Looks like whoever is writing for the site has a Thesaurus to hand, and a lack of a brain. A large gem set into it? Sure you could paint it that way, but the actual design is just metal.

Also this made me crack up on the Dwarven Ballista:

Quote:

The kit comes with two Dwarves, a loader and a firer, each one wearing armour, chainmail and iron helmets. They also wear sturdy boots, tunics, and one carries a satchel and a spare ball, while the other aims the Ballista. Both, of course, display mighty beards.

Didn't realise it was a fashion parade! Is the satchel Prada?

Jeeeeez.

Drumstick · **Joined:** Sat Sep 19, 2009 8:57 am **Posts:** 1223

"display mighty fine beards" lol :rofl:

KnightyKnight · **Posted:** Sat Aug 11, 2012 3:51 pm

I read Erkenbrand's entry yesterday, that made me laugh a little. You've said it perfectly - it really is nothing more than a monkey thinking he is the greatest writer of all because he's found a thesaurus.

Guess they're desperately clutching at straws in the hope of making Finecast sound like a worthwhile product.

'Look, look! This is here! And that bit is there! And look at all the AWESOMEFANTASTICDETAIL there! Wow!'

I don't seem to remember that kind of thing back in the old days /eyeroll

Pindergorn · **Posted:** Sat Aug 11, 2012 4:42 pm

KnightyKnight wrote:

I read Erkenbrand's entry yesterday, that made me laugh a little. You've said it perfectly - it really is nothing more than a monkey thinking he is the greatest writer of all because he's found a thesaurus.

Speaking of which...

GW Monkey wrote:

Erkenbrand of the Red Shield is a legend in Rohan, a bold captain whose tireless defence of the Westfold has rescued scores of villages from the torch, and saved countless lives from marauding Orcs.

Didn't he get nerfed with the release of Warbands?

Quote:

In the kit you get two models - Erkenbrand on foot, posed with his sword stretched out and his shield at the ready;

As do the vast majority of miniatures, lowly warriors included.

GW Monkey wrote:

on the other he sits atop a magnificent warhorse,

Magnificent?

Looks like one of the stock Rohirrim horses to me...

GW Monkey wrote:

with his sword raised as if he's about to ride into the thick of battle.

Wow! A miniature with a raised sword! I suppose this groundbreaking new pose will revolutionise the industry?

GW Monkey wrote:

Each model comes with elegant robes

Wait, are we talking about an Anglo-Saxon-esque Knight or a Wizard?

GW Monkey wrote:

and ornate chainmail.

History FAIL. Hes wearing scale armour, not chain mail.

GW Monkey wrote:

As well as a plumed helmet he wears leather belts, straps and boots, and carries the Horn of the Hammerhand.

Oh gee, thanks for pointing all that out, I would never have noticed. I'll be sure to paint those bits properly.

GW Monkey wrote:

This kit is supplied unpainted and requires assembly - we recommend using Citadel Super Glue and Citadel Paints...

...and Citadel Brushes and a Citadel Water Pot and a Citadel Paint Palette and a Citadel Painting Station and a Citadel Cleanup Kit and a Citadel Spray Gun and a pair of Citadel Clippers and some Black Library Audio Books to entertain you while you paint. Coming soon - Citadel Water - the essential piece of equipment which every Hobbyist needs to clean their brushes.

Karak Norn Clansman · **Joined:** Tue Jul 03, 2012 7:01 pm **Posts:** 272

Drumstick wrote:

"display mighty fine beards" lol :rofl:

I won't defend the GW web monkeys, but I have a dreadful feeling that all of the Hobbit's dwarves will display too small beards. The dwarven beard size was perfect in the trilogy, and GW's dwarven range captured both a fitting equipment design and well-sized beards. If my fears prove correct, GW's older Lotr dwarves will actually have a selling point in their display of mighty fine beards. :gimli:

TheBucklandBrewer · **Posted:** Sat Aug 11, 2012 5:21 pm

Alright guys, we all have our opinions about whatever they release, but there's no need to twist every word of them just to find a way to make fun of them.

-Locked-

The GW Web monkeys don't have a clue

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